Every year it never fails; the dreaded Valentine’s Day holiday rears its pink ugly face to remind me of how utterly single I am. Even in Japan I am surrounded by chocolates and flowers and hearts and pink and…puke. It’s actually worse here because Valentine’s Day is the day in which the females give gifts to the males. Then in March, on White Day, the males reciprocate by giving females an even better gift than the one they received on Valentine’s Day. So those of us in singledome get to be reminded twice. Yay. I simply flip VD the bird in which it replies, “You wish!” Well, yes. Yes, I do wish…and that is why I despise you. Asshole.
This year, however, I do consider myself to be in a relationship. Not the conventional type in which boy meets girl and they go on dates and then have “the talk” to become exclusive (or not) and yadda, yadda, yadda. No, this relationship isn’t exactly like that, but it does exhibit many of the nuances of a new relationship. There is awkwardness and uncertainty; we circle each other constantly, eyes scanning up and down then back up again trying to get a “feel” for each other, but we haven’t actually touched yet. We’ve talked, but neither one of us has opened up completely to show our true selves; only a glimpse as we aren’t quite ready for vulnerability just yet. We are also intrigued and excited as we explore one another and envision the possibilities of what could be. Yes, my relationship with Japan is one in which we are currently walking together, but very soon we will be facing that fork in the road in which we will continue to walk together on the same path side by side, or we will choose to go down differing paths, albeit in the same wood for quite some time. My hope is that we will continue together, hand in hand, for the duration of my time here. However, there are certain barriers that must be broken down and this will take quite a degree of open-mindedness and perspective on both parts, but mainly from me, as I am simply a guest. Don’t get me wrong, Japan is interested, but it knows that there are many more “geijins” in the sea if things don’t work out with me.
Each day is a new day. Some are wonderful and exhilarating…others are confusing and discouraging. All in all it is an amazing adventure…one that I will share in more detail soon. Until then, Happy Day of Love to everyone…for that is something I feel every day of the year.