Every year it never fails; the dreaded Valentine’s Day holiday rears its pink ugly face to remind me of how utterly single I am. Even in Japan I am surrounded by chocolates and flowers and hearts and pink and…puke. It’s actually worse here because Valentine’s Day is the day in which the females give gifts to the males. Then in March, on White Day, the males reciprocate by giving females an even better gift than the one they received on Valentine’s Day. So those of us in singledome get to be reminded twice. Yay. I simply flip VD the bird in which it replies, “You wish!” Well, yes. Yes, I do wish…and that is why I despise you. Asshole.
This year, however, I do consider myself to be in a relationship. Not the conventional type in which boy meets girl and they go on dates and then have “the talk” to become exclusive (or not) and yadda, yadda, yadda. No, this relationship isn’t exactly like that, but it does exhibit many of the nuances of a new relationship. There is awkwardness and uncertainty; we circle each other constantly, eyes scanning up and down then back up again trying to get a “feel” for each other, but we haven’t actually touched yet. We’ve talked, but neither one of us has opened up completely to show our true selves; only a glimpse as we aren’t quite ready for vulnerability just yet. We are also intrigued and excited as we explore one another and envision the possibilities of what could be. Yes, my relationship with Japan is one in which we are currently walking together, but very soon we will be facing that fork in the road in which we will continue to walk together on the same path side by side, or we will choose to go down differing paths, albeit in the same wood for quite some time. My hope is that we will continue together, hand in hand, for the duration of my time here. However, there are certain barriers that must be broken down and this will take quite a degree of open-mindedness and perspective on both parts, but mainly from me, as I am simply a guest. Don’t get me wrong, Japan is interested, but it knows that there are many more “geijins” in the sea if things don’t work out with me.
Each day is a new day. Some are wonderful and exhilarating…others are confusing and discouraging. All in all it is an amazing adventure…one that I will share in more detail soon. Until then, Happy Day of Love to everyone…for that is something I feel every day of the year.
4 thoughts on “Aijou Getsu ni Nihon”
Chin up! There will be a time where love will find you. Not going to do that sappy, crappy, “When you least expect it” thing, but someday, Mr. Right will be there! Until then, from one friend to another, Happy Valentine’s Day! Now, go eat a box of chocolate and drink a bottle of wine!
Happy Valentines day to you too. My friends had invited me to listen to a detective speak on scams pulled on the elderly and then to lunch. I did not wish to hear of scams, etc. so I am walking Foxy and on to Ancestry. Because I am single and enjoying each and every moment as I do not want to feel the need to please someone else I can do what I want.
As for you my dear daughter,do you suppose you would be in Japan if you were not single? Enjoy this stage of your life and when the right one is in your life you will have fulfilled all you wanted for yourself.
THe Great Wise One
Wow that is way too much intellectual philosophy for me to comprehend, but here is my two cents.
Enjoy every day, even if you are feeling a bit melancholy. look at those of us who are in a traditional relationship and ask yourself if that’s for you. Life if full of phases,and you are in an adventure phase.
Then eat some frickin chocolates and have a BOTTLE of Vino!
Btw, Will you be my Valentine?
The Young Wise One!
Thanks for the positivity! I honestly did not mean to sound so morose…however, with everyone encouraging wine and chocolate I think I have to go get some! Love and miss you!
The Beautiful Wise One